I'll Help You
by Lizzie Annee
Summary: She knows that she has to move past it all but she doesn't know if she can. Post 3x16


Abby had been the first thing Marcus had seen once his chip had been removed and he hadn't left her side since. He worked with her to patch up the wounded and she went with him when he locked the now delusional Jaha away in a side room. By the time that everyone who needed help had been given it the sun had long gone to sleep. They sat in an empty room away from the murmurs and sounds of pain, pressed together.

Marcus had planted himself in the darkest corner of the room and beckoned for her to follow him down. She had taken his hand and pressed herself against his side, her knees resting between his ribs and her chest and her arms wrapped him, her head gently resting over his heart, the steady beat lulling her into a sleep that she didn't yet know she could face.

"I'm sorry Marcus"

"I know"

Neither of them had let voice to it. They had avoided talking about it, letting the silence and the heaviness build until she could no longer keep it contained.

"If I hadn't"

He pulled her closer, one arm wrapping around her back and the other threaded through her hair.

"It wasn't you, I know it wasn't you"

"But this ... None of this would have happened if I hadn't been weak"

She buried her face into his shirt, her hands grasping at the material. The knowledge that he had taken the chip to save her, that he had endured so much protecting her daughter was too much.

"You saved Raven's life by taking that chip" he whispered into her hair.

"But it almost cost me yours Marcus ... and Clarke's"

He could feel the pain in her words as she pressed herself even closer to him. He couldn't help but understand what she was feeling. Just knowing that he had almost killed Bellamy had been enough to knock him to his knees, feeling nothing and absolutely everything all at once.

In that moment it had all been too much.

"We do what we have to protect those that we care about"

"But I hurt you Marcus ... I'm the reason that you were put up on that cross ... The reason you hurt Bellamy and crucified Indra"

"It was Allie ... Abby it may have been your body but it wasn't you"

He pushed himself up, his hands bringing her with him. He gently lifted her face until he could see the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I need to know that you understand that ... Abby, it is so important that you know it wasn't your fault"

Abby couldn't stop the sob that broke free and brought her hands up to cover her eyes. She knew that Clarke had already forgiven her and she also knew that Bellamy held no grievance against Marcus but she couldn't shake the weight of knowing that if she had only somehow found a way too stop Thelonious back in Arkadia then perhaps dozens of people may still be alive.

"I don't know how you can be near me Marcus" she whispered, her hands moving to wrap around his wrists.

"Abby you bear more scars because of my actions than anybody deserves ... The fact that you can even think of being with me"

His words were lost as she pressed her lips against his. Not wanting to lose the connection Marcus moved his hands from her face to her waist and drew her close. They stood like that for several minutes, the only sound their occasional breaths in the still silence surrounding them.

"I forgave you a long time ago Marcus ... You have only ever done what you thought was best for us, despite how much I may have disagreed" Abby whispered as she pulled her head back so that she could look at him properly.

"And no one blames you for this" He replied, again needing her to understand.

"You saved Raven's life and for a short while brought absolute peace to those who really needed it. It doesn't matter whether or not you willingly took the chip or not, you were not trying to cause anyone harm ... I need to know that you understand that."

Abby wiped her eyes on her sleeve, the need to cry having gone. Looking up into Marcus' eyes she could see no anger or resentment, only sadness that she was trying to believe wasn't her fault.

"Is it really that easy to forget and move on ?" she asked, hoping for one answer whilst knowing she would get another.

He shook his head, pulling her closer still.

"It never gets easier but you learn to carry it as well as you do the good things"

"I don't know if I can"

"I'll help you"


End file.
